Well, back in February I issued myself the challenge to lose 42 pounds in 21 weeks, but I have fallen far short of the goal. In reality, I’ve lost about 20 pounds, which is respectable considering my occasional (okay, frequent) lapses in motivation. If not for the guidance and encouragement of Paul (that awesome guru of personal training in Cleveland), I’d probably have lost nothing. So at this rate I’m losing less than a pound per week, but at least I’m losing. Progress is being made. Blubber is retreating. Perhaps I have stumbled onto a universal weight loss (and life) truth. Huge sacrifices need not be made, only small and frequent sacrifices combined with the passage of time. You don’t have to give up chocolate or mayonnaise or tortillas, you simply need to spend time with them less often, and you need to be in it for the long haul. That’s it! Just make some small adjustments, give it a year, and you could be amazed by how much weight you’ve lost. I have 20 pounds more to lose to reach my goal, but I now know that I can reach it without taking drastic measures. Patience.
photo credit: Oliver Ingrouille [ mr oji ]
Recently a blogger that I follow wrote an inspiring post called the “Top 10 Ways To Kill Your Spirit“, and I came up with the notion to produce a sequel. So with his blessing, here goes:
- Think about the past as much as possible. Your mistakes. Your most embarrassing moments. Live in that world for as many minutes of the day as you can squeeze in, because replaying it over and over is paying such wonderful dividends. Not only do you get to relive the pain every day, but thinking about it really cuts down on the time you have to create new experiences and meaningful relationships in the here and now. Bonus!
- Don’t think about the past at all, EVER. The past is for losers and sentimentalists. Taking a glance back every once in awhile is to be avoided at all costs because it might make you realize that you were wrong on some things. And being wrong means apologizing. And apologizing is a sign of weakness. Maintain the cold war between you and your sick, aging ex because that is preferable to being seen as weak or having to take the time to figure out how to repair a relationship.
- Compete with friends and family. They are the testing ground for achievement in the real world. Rubbing their noses in your accomplishments is not a matter of your arrogance, it’s a matter of their insecurities. You must make them feel as small as possible and then, only then, will you truly feel good about yourself. And feeling good about yourself is what really matters in relationships.
- Watch reality TV.
- Refuse to tolerate weirdness. People that act and think differently from you are to be shunned, ridiculed, and corrected. They offer nothing of value to a decent society, and give you these occasional, uncomfortable feelings that you might be less intelligent than they are. Eccentrics like Albert Einstein and Salvador Dali could have really been groundbreaking if only they had been normalized at a young age.
- Work as hard as you can to be liked. You must learn to amputate from yourself any and everything that shows the slightest inkling of originality or independence. Just be like everybody else around you and things will be easier. When the boss tells a racist joke, laugh. When your friends start picking on a co-worker, join in. When your spouse tells you you’re looking old, get a face lift. What’s most important is not the quality of your relationships but the quantity. What matters is not that you dig yourself but that others dig you (or at least that they dig the pretend you).
- Drink. A LOT. There’s nothing like a nightly 12-pack to take the edge off. Never mind that you can no longer distinguish your dreams from reality, or that your kids’ most vivid memory when they grow up will be of you, face down on the floor, unconscious. The point is that it helps you to cope. It gets you from day to day, and a day to day existence is all most people can hope for. Right?
- Look for the worst in people. You have a gift for quickly identifying others’ flaws, and so it behooves you to point them out to anyone that will listen. Not only does this make you feel powerful and perceptive, but it gives you that much-needed daily confidence boost. After all, if someone else has problems, maybe yours aren’t so bad after all.
- Make the pursuit of money your primary goal in life. So you’ve had to burn a few bridges, stab a few backs, and miss a few school plays to secure your financial future…big whup. It’s a dog eat dog world and sometimes you have to be ruthless if you want to make a lot of money. Besides, there’s still a 50/50 chance that your estranged son will show up for your funeral, and maybe then he’ll finally be sorry for refusing the lavish gifts you’ve tried to buy his affection with.
- Forget to laugh.
photo credit: Clive Arundell
If you’re serious about learning how to improve intelligence then you must begin to set aside your need to always be right. Show me someone who thinks they know everything and I’ll show you someone who really knows next to nothing. How can one learn if one believes that there is nothing to be learned? How can a mind make new discoveries if it is content to merely defend what is already known?
The Most Arrogant Person You Know
Think about that person at your workplace or in your extended family who is extremely arrogant and obnoxious. This shouldn’t be hard. Hint: It’s the one who interrupts a lot and is always telling you what to do with your life. Now, you might respect this person. You might even love them. But do they strike you as very intelligent? Would you characterize them as wise? Do you seek them out for advice?
I’ve found that in most cases the greater one’s ego, the greater one’s ignorance. Ego can be an important agent in personal productivity, but ego gone wild will prohibit you from discovering a more truthful and meaningful life. It is only when you allow some humility to guide you that you can acknowledge your shortcomings, which then can lead to self-improvement and a more enlightened perspective of yourself and the world at large.
There Is No Greater Tragedy Than The Stunted Mind
It’s always a bit depressing to me when I see people who refuse to grow mentally and personally. If at 40 you have exactly the same opinions and thought processes as when you were 20, then I pity you, because you are wasting your mind. You are satisfied with a worldview that, at best needs tweaking, and at worst needs a total overhaul. I can’t think of a worse existence than to consciously refuse to meet that more aware version of yourself. I think of what I was like when I was 20 and I can’t imagine spending my whole life in that mindset. I’ve tried to challenge myself to consider different viewpoints and ways of thinking, and it has made a greater difference than I can even articulate.
Approach Your Life Like A Scientist
Look at your life like a scientist looks at his research. Have strong opinions that are based in logic and direct observation and testing, but be willing to accept that occasionally your theories will be wrong. Just as the scientist must be willing to change his mind when new evidence presents itself, so too must you have the courage to face and accept new and sometimes groundbreaking evidence which flies in the face of what you once thought true about life.
If you refuse to do this, if you refuse to accept that you might occasionally be wrong, you’re only cheating yourself in the long run. You’re like the scientists of centuries gone who refused to believe that the earth was round because it didn’t fit neatly into the worldview that they had spent a lifetime constructing for themselves. In the end the world left them behind, and now we amuse ourselves with their foolishness.
Stop wasting so much time defending your old ideas that everyone and their brother can now see are flawed, and instead get on with the work of incorporating new information into your life. You’ll gain a more fulfilling and stimulating existence, and the people closest to you will value your opinion more. The honest mind is more respected than the stubborn mind.